This is a portrait of Ayla, the daughter of my friend Colleen. In many ways this portrait was like many others before it, in that I spent way too much time on it and probably repainted it five times, but it was also very different. This is the first portrait I've ever done of a child, first flower printed sweatshirt I ever painted
(so close to painting it black), and one of the few portraits I have done in which I have never met the subject. But what interested me was the conversation I was having with myself throughout the process of the painting.
I often think about why I choose to paint what I paint. What is it about painting a simple portrait that's so gratifying. I believe it's due to the illusion of connection mixed with the act of creation. While I paint a portrait I tend to project my thoughts, emotions and memories on to the subject to build a connection while simultaneously being neutral towards what the painting needs. I couldn't help but think about the life Ayla will lead, the subtlety of her personality and the person she will become, yet I have never met her. I guess that could be a drawback or an intellectual asset when working from photographs. It's my job as the painter to fill in that blank in order for the viewer to have a connection with the painting. I try to find my place between the logical and the illogical, a harmony and dissonance between the eye, the mind and the hand.
Numbers of thoughts, fears, hope and frustration can be found within the markings of a painting. These marks accumulate to a sum, with any luck greater than the sum of it's parts. Even if the painting fails, the struggle is never lost. With in that struggle lies experience and growth that stay with you to aid you in your next work.
From what I know of the "Art World" it is often frowned upon to omit sentimentality in your work depending on your school of thought. While I can agree too much sentimentality can often seem trite and cliche. I guess I discovered that I am a hopeless, unapologetic romantic in my attitude towards painting and life in general, and will continue to be...Until the Dinosaurs come back to rule us all. (I was getting too serious.) This painting further illuminated to me that it is ok to just like to paint and create that illusion of connection between me the subject and the viewer. I hope this all makes sense.
I would also like to thank Colleen for giving me the privilege of painting Ayla. I hope you enjoy the painting as much as I enjoyed painting it.
Thanks.
Todd
Quick side note, my desktop was featured at minimalmac.com and was re-posted to a few other blogs as well. I know this doesn't have much to do with painting, but the nerd in me is a little excited. It's featured primarily due to the desktop image, I created with an old photo of Bella Lugosi. I've got a fairly good response so far. I'm considering posting some homemade desktops for free download in the future.
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